to lead a free and happy life, with all the right people!♥♥♥

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Happie Birthday to my Dearest Daddy!!

heez so happie tonite,

i made daddy happy and so am i.! :)

Love makes everything wonderful ♥

.....................................................................................

On a heavier note,

I've just re-planned my final revision schedule
yesterday and it's pretty tight!

In total I'm left with
7 days for Management Mathematics,
7 days for Financial Intermediation,
7 days for Management Accounting and
5 days for Investment Management.

It looks and sounds not bad.
But the bad thing is MA and IM papers
are held on consecutive days :(

And that's what makes e schedule tight.

I believe my stress levels will rocket sky high
from 21May to 27May,
with 5 days to prepare for 2 full units.

So I gotta work doubly hard now to avoid
leaving too much for the eves.

Sad thing is,
I dun understand something.

I talked to baby last nite regarding it.

Why do certain memories and fears invade my thoughts
when I least expect it?

When I'm utilising all my brain juice to digest my notes,
when my concentration level is actually at its max?

Why?

How did the thoughts emerge in my brain,
when I am not even thinking about them?

Is it because they have alws been in my subconscious mind?
Or?

I seriously dun understand.

And I was so angry with myself.

For this is a weakness,
this is something that might really make or break me.

I really hope to walk out of this one day,
fully and totally.

In a way,
I knew the more I pushed em back,
the more they would come.

So yesterday,
I gave myself space and let em all come.
Whatever thoughts tt wanted to get rewinded.

After that,
I did manage to feel better and get my focus
back onto my books.

And the irritating thing is,
it came again today.

I really cant stand it.

I want to be strong,
mentally and physically.

And I let my tears flow.

I need to be really strong from now on,
cos I dun have the time to lose for
this kinda mental and emotional stress.

This is a crucial final month for me.

Thoughts, fears and dark memories,
go away will u all.
shoo. just shoo. dun bother me.
i'm so damn not free right now.
just scram!

It's been almost 3 yrs.
Just drop em girl. totally.
You can do it.

Yes, I can do it.

to lead a happy life at {9:37 PM}
________________ . . . . _______________

Crestfallen

*elaine
*e.MouSe
*26.jan.85
*emouse26@yahoo.com
*elaine_cheng26@hotmail.com
*uol year 3 student
*loves garfield
*loves fann wong
*loves pampering myself
*cherish people who heart me
*adores all pretty babes on earth

Yearning for

♥a peaceful life♥

now: yearning for a happy life and excellent results.

♥My Wish List♥

♥nice laptop pouch
♥good earphones
♥white tote
♥gold gucci tote
♥guess perfume
♥burberry weekend
♥trip to hongkong
♥trip to taiwan
♥trip to australia
♥trip to japan
♥lotsa money to buy things for myself & everybody i love

♥Dearies♥