to lead a free and happy life, with all the right people!♥♥♥

Sunday, July 30, 2006

~L.O.V.E~

The one you love most, doesnt love you the most.
The one, who loves you most, is never the one you love most.
And the one you spend your life with, is never the one you love most,
nor the one who loves you the most.
He or she is just the person who happens to be at the right place, at the right time.

When a person doesnt love you and wants to leave you,
you must ask yourself if you still love him.
If you also dont love him anymore, do not keep him just to save your pride.
If you still love him, you should wish him happiness,
and hope that he will be with the one he loves most, and not stop him from it.

If you stop him from finding true happiness with the one he loves,
it shows that you already dont love him.
In other words, when you love a person,
you can use another method of possessing the person.
Let him become a permanent memory in your life.
If you really love a person, you must love him for what he is.
Love him for his good points, and the bad.
When you really love a person, you cannot find a reason why you love him,
you only know that no matter when and where, good times or bad times,
you will wish to have this person be with you.

True love is when two people can go through the toughest problems
without asking for promises or listing criteria.
If you are willing to trust a person when all others tell you to go against it,
if you are willing to risk getting your heart broken because you believe in that other person,
that is true love."

i happened to come across this in my very much older post and decided to post it again.
like love songs and stories, such love theories give u a different feeling n outlook at different points in your life. to me, it's true in some ways, not so true in others. like the last part, i dun really agree that if you are willing to go thru those things, that is true love. i've been more than willing to trust, to risk, to give up closer things at heart, but in e end i still had to end dat r/s.

it feels like true love, but it cant be one. cox we cannot be together. not ever in dis life. unless, unless, but no, dat wun happen. cox i know. sometimes im quite confused, lets say two persons can never be together, does it mean true love cant exist between them? or must they be able to be together before we conclude is it true love or not?

actually nobody ever holds the answers to these questions, because it's all subjective. it's all up to us to decide. to conclude. anyway dat's not important anymore. no matter it is, or it's not, it doesnt change a single thing about the fact. cruel cruel fact. anyway all these talking makes me miss him so much. stop it girl. but i have such a strong urge to post his pic up. sigh. i miss you.

but hey im gonna be a happier person! maybe if dis year cant make it, i'll make it my resolution next year! haha wad a far far decision. lol. i'll continue to keep dis disc playing in my hifi to keep my mood up. a girl meets bossanova. good calming "lullabying" effect. sweet dreams to myself.

tmr gg to jiahui's bdae at amk, cannot afford to have swollen eyes haaz. might be meeting him to return him something. deep breath...........

to lead a happy life at {2:52 AM}
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a tired sat nite is tonite, had 3 classes after work dis week. wed, fri and sat. tiring!! n jennifer (my colleague cum course mate) was right, from fri we have been sleeping, working, studying, den again sleeping, working, studying. sounds like a scary routine! lucky it only lasted for these 2 consecutive days. had a good nap after i reached home juz now, super drained out of energy man. lucky i didnt take up e tuition kid whom guss encouraged me to. seriously i tink i cant cope with so many things! izzit becos my fav character is not wonder woman but Garfield, the fat lazy cat? maybe his characteristics are inherent in me too, no wonder i love him so much.

lolx. tink im getting lame from being too tired. sch's been ok but the workload is high. got alot of assignments (actually not alot but very difficult) n i haven been studying! shit man so many lessons have passed i really need to catch up on my reading. -_- z z z

btw, yesterday jen asked me to stay over at her hse, cox she scared to go home from her multi storey carpark, she said it's big n dark n quiet. tinking her hubby oso out of town, so i went over to accompany her. her kids are sooo cute! 1 boy 1 girl, nigel n naomi. nigel's a cute 3yr old boy who can be v persistent n demanding at times, but he loves to perform! naomi's a clever pretty girl who sings so well! she's only 5 but can sing so many love songs with emotion. haaz i love her singing to me whenever im tired from class. the kids were so excited last nite. jen said they love visitors.

shall end dis happy post with two pics i took with darling naomi, loved the way she kissed me on my cheek!

to lead a happy life at {2:27 AM}
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Friday, July 28, 2006

shit!! wth is blogger doing!! my whole entry kena erased when i juz wanted to select the whole thing! angry angry angry. somemore im not feeling well in my stomach now. sick. im angry. n i juz mentioned in my long long entry dat i wanted to be happy! grrrrrrrr

i shall recall to the best of my memory..

finally uploaded all my newer pics online dis two days, ended up sleeping late last nite, resulting in dizzy spells at work dis morning. i ALMOST did something very careless, about to submit a cash depostit when i haven counted the stack of 50s. lucky i realized suddenly, but still i was careless. got a shock, immediately went to rest n apply medicated oil right after the transaction. banks allow no mistakes!

but still, im happie to have posted my pics, felt a great sense of satisfaction when i finished everything. actually the motivation to do all dis without further delaying is all from a recent acquaintance's blog, n i was inspired to post all new pics online too. haaz girls are just so fond of showcasing their pictures =)

anyway, i've decided to be a happier person, enjoying life, loving myself, laughing with friends, bonding with family. not cry, feel shattered n broken, nor to be down n crestfallen. but will it be that easy? it is my wish, but wish is always so far away >>>>>>

dat is why i changed my blog song, from the beloved zui hou yi feng xin by jacky cheung, to the current LoveFool by Olivia. a sg singer who made it good in japan, lent to me from guss, a nice n relaxing album a girl meets bossanova. playing it in my hifi instantly sets my room into a relaxed cafe mood. it's so good dat im unwilling to start listening to the other cd he lent me together.

will be temporily putting my jacky cheung's sad songs aside, till who-knows-when-i'll-need-it again. hopefully not soon though. dun wanna cry, dun wanna be so broken all over again. though my heart still ache n break everytime i recall. okie shall not talk bout it, be happy!

handling full time bank job plus degree study plus heart troubles aint no small feat! i dun wanna be defeated, thus i have to shed away the troubles! happy happy happy shall i be!
good luck to myself! haaz cheerios =)

to lead a happy life at {1:39 AM}
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long time nv take pic with mum le, here's one taken on sunday when she used my lappy to video converse with my dearest nancy cousin in england! mother of my bao bei (post his pics nex time when i go mlysia to take with him). mummy rarely smiles for the cam! n she did in dis pic okie, hiak my effort?

to lead a happy life at {1:09 AM}
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Thursday, July 27, 2006

monday, alot of unexpected twists of events happened. was supposed to meet chanyuan at aljunied to visit his company (yahz it's VERY far), oso to meet idol guiling n zixian after dat for dinner or drinks. in e end, cancelled chanyuan's appt, so as to meet two of them earlier. we arranged to meet at bugis, when zx arrived, he told me gl cant make it last min! i was so upset n it was so unexpected. sad sad sad. =( she's the main reason i wanted to meet up. but in e end, she still showed up, only dat she's late. heez but it cheered me up though, she gave me a sweet lil bear with a nice scent on it as compensation.

she brought us to a nice quiet place called my secret garden, and the ambience over there was so nice n classy. the place even had a swing at the outdoor side. i had a sinful tiramisu (yeap my fav after cheesecake) n passion fruit tea. gl had something espresso cappucino i tink. xian had a crayfish pasta (looks yummy i ate the crayfish it's nice) n some brewed tea. gl treated, n i felt bad for making her spend.

as a sidenote, i met huiling my sec sch fren at e bus stop outside my br! so she lived near my workplace heez. quite qiao met twice oredi, once at e start of jul n one ending jul~!

the cute lil bear guiling gave me! the black thing is e menu, on e left her espresso *slurps*

to lead a happy life at {2:13 AM}
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went to a pub at chijmes last sat with my dear buddies, junwei, yk, n 3 sweeties hoiling, angel n kl sis! tink it was called buddy's or something lydat suddenly cant recall (tink my STM getting more serious =p) had a fun time playing games n drinking, learned some new games! took a few pics using sis hp, we all looked so dark! k750i really not bad can tk hi quality pics. liked the seat we had, with comfy black cushioned backs! our chivas still got balance, in e end yk took hm for our nex time 2nd round. hiak hiak*

to lead a happy life at {2:02 AM}
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last pic! i love these pics the most becos of the lighting! (actually it's another mode in my cam heez) but the first one look eerie though, as if sis' doraemon came out of its bod!

to lead a happy life at {1:54 AM}
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continued...

coming back to escape from rain, guess wad's underneath??

sweet gdnite poses=)

last day! still at mana mana beach taking our last few pics

out to the sea in a paddle boat, FOC! courtesy of herri, thanks to kl sis!

to lead a happy life at {1:42 AM}
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back from bintan on last tues. but till now den upload our pics heez. my dearies sis are here! love u girls for making the trip such a wonderful one. but guess it'll be our last time to mana mana, coz it's the 3rd time we've been there! visiting the same places eating the same food n playing the same stuff! but we'll try nirwana nex time round heez =)

anyway, only brought lil money there, didnt expect much to buy, but in e end i fancied a nice nice Guess handbag! almost borrowed $ from van to buy, was considering, in e end............... i BOUGHT it! haaz quite expected for a girl like me. not posting a pic of e bag, coz it looks blur on my hp cam. sobz i wan a higher reso fone cam =S

here goes my dearies sis, droolz on..

upon arrival..

on e bed poses

on e beach! i love the backgrounds

to lead a happy life at {1:18 AM}
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days with ugly specs to cover eye injury =S
still went to ktv with sisters n buddies they are the best! love me love my buds

to lead a happy life at {1:02 AM}
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Tuesday, July 25, 2006

just got the hang of how to post my pics up here lately, thus these pics are appearing a lil late. betta late than nv arrive, chi dao hao guo mei dao!

my love garfield! during its junction 8 appearance

to lead a happy life at {10:14 PM}
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at van's bdae with my buddies! it's juz the nite b4 we left for bintan

we seldom get our "full" buddies pic!

to lead a happy life at {9:03 PM}
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muz go n watch dis, i was amazed by his voice! have a strong urge to post in frenster =) superb voice

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yW-XpfmnJ0c&search=world%20ting

to lead a happy life at {9:01 PM}
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Thursday, July 06, 2006

it's a new start, a new life. juz started my first lesson in sim last nite, after 3 yrs of non-sch-only-work life. felt pretty excited bout starting sch, n i'm determined to get a gd degree, after all so much money will be spent on dis. initially, it's not like im interested in studying or wad, but after working i realized u JUZ had to get a degree to land urself in the position in e first place. efforts n work performance comes AFTER u get the job. i dun wan to be getting $1k pay all my life from now. it sux, big time.

anyway, after yest's lecture i realize i've made e correct choice by choosing to study banking n finance. not only because im oredi in banking line, but mainly becoz i wanna pursue a career in dis field AND it's beneficial for one's own good to understand more about finance planning.

but talking about $, i wonder how a saver like me (i've nv ever drained my salary in the same mth since i worked few yrs back)- could end up spending ALL my salary in half a month's time! reads= in HALF a mth. n dat's over a thousand bucks! gosh it's so NOT me. when i updated my a/c n totalled up my expenditure, i got a shock, n for the first time i dumped my atm n debit card in the office. haaz and i still owe mum her allowance. god

july, so many birthdays. july, my sch starts. july, my life is changed. july, i cried again like how i did previously. my cd player is holding jacky cheung's black n white cd once again. the last time it did, i was crying every nite listening to those songs, tinking of our memories. how we worked together. loved each other. laughed n joked together. went out together. had happy meals together. den worried together. being separated from each other. how he comforted me whenever i cried so hard becoz of the sharp pain in my heart. all these, i know i have to let go. i know i muz look forward to a brand new start. a whole new life alone, alone, alone. i know i have to give him up, have to let go of dis. though my heart is already dead, from all the pain and e tears. he stood by me when dat shocking incident happened to me. he gave me support, comfort n courage. now, i am standing alone. i am strong, have always been, and i know i will survive through. i have a goal now, i am pursuing my 3 yr degree. i am going to have a gd life with my parents ever after. but i dunno y are my tears flowing so uncontrollably now. why is my heart so painful. why cant i stop the tears. the pain. i feel like tearing myself apart. god, buddha, heaven, stars, moon, anything, please stop e pain in my heart. i dun wan to shatter. i wanna come out in one piece, n see the sun again. will i ever feel warmth in my heart again?

wo ai ni, sui ran wo yi jing fang qi.

to lead a happy life at {8:35 PM}
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Crestfallen

*elaine
*e.MouSe
*26.jan.85
*emouse26@yahoo.com
*elaine_cheng26@hotmail.com
*uol year 3 student
*loves garfield
*loves fann wong
*loves pampering myself
*cherish people who heart me
*adores all pretty babes on earth

Yearning for

♥a peaceful life♥

now: yearning for a happy life and excellent results.

♥My Wish List♥

♥nice laptop pouch
♥good earphones
♥white tote
♥gold gucci tote
♥guess perfume
♥burberry weekend
♥trip to hongkong
♥trip to taiwan
♥trip to australia
♥trip to japan
♥lotsa money to buy things for myself & everybody i love

♥Dearies♥