to lead a free and happy life, with all the right people!♥♥♥

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

sorry for e long stagnant blog.

i feel, i blog. when im feeling too down or too up,
i cant blog at all.

just read thru my dear girl's blog.
wanted to cry when i know what shits have
a guy she trusted so much done to her.

when she typed a line: thanks for ruining my life.
felt so shattered, yet so want her to be strong.

girl, u should really thank him for that.
it's a way braver n wiser choice to make the
decision u have made. rather than to end up the other
way that u know it will.

and it's a blessing to discover a person's
true self earlier. it's a lil late, but definitely
NOT TOO late. i've nv wanted to scold a guy or anyone this,
but he's a bastardjerk. im sorry i have to say it.

be strong, be really strong.
you were, you have been, you are, and you will be.
we are all here.

i pray for you, for ur lil one,
and for all my loved ones ard me.

i've been in the dumps lately till i had no energy
at all to care about my frens.

i know im bad. but i really too much within me.
now dat i've unloaded alot of stuff,
i realise my fren out there and some others too
are gg thru worse problems,
and i wish i've been there.

im sorry.

i pray for u. and i will ask xuan to help me too.
*close my eyes*

-----------------------------------------------

finally, i've unloaded the bulk of my knots.

slowly, firmly, i've finally walked out of the
darkness that i've been engulfed with for
e past 3 yrs.

thank heaven, thank inner elaine,
thank my close ones, thank ben dan

for helping me thru this.

thank myself for the decision,
thank the rest for helping me stay rooted and firm.

i couldnt have done it alone.
i thought i could, but i knew i would collapse.

and i dun wan to collapse into his arms anymore.

i wan to live and lead my life holding my head up.
i cant live in darkness anymore. i cant do it anymore.
now, i wan to breathe in fresher air, see brighter light,
and be a more open self.

i am strong,
now im saying it cos i've become a notch stronger
once again.

after each fall, i feel myself being harder,
stronger, firmer. i want to stand tall.

thanks ben dan for holding my fall.
thanks heaven for answering my prayers.

i've always let down myself in e past,
for not being able to stay firm to my own decision.
this time round, i know i have done it.

sis, i have done it.
i know u are happy for me, genuinely happy.
thanks for helping me ease my mum at ur place.
thanks for encouraging me.

from now, can i see light? i believe i can.
next year will be a better year for me.
i promise myself.

brothers n sis, i will be genuinely happy
and courage will come to me, i pray.

sorry for having diverts on,
sorry for not meeting.

like i said i needed my space,
i had it, im grateful.

still on the road of healing,
but it will be over soon.

all my dearest,
i reallly love u all.
ris n karen, tho we seldom meet,
u two are always in my heart n i care.
kl n van, we meet lesser now
but we know our kinship is unchanged, only stronger.
bros n sisters laogong laopo, u all will always be the best.
des yc zx n jl, ur group has been there, heart u all thanks.
xuan, love u for all ur encouragement.
ken, ky n j.c, all of u contributed to make me a stronger
person. i do not regret anything, n i'm glad each time,
i've been stronger and stronger.
the harder i fall, the greater i learnt and the stronger i became.

j.c, i know u dun have a chance to see this.
but still, tho i've ever hated the idea of u barging into my life,
i still must thank you, for i know i wun ever walk the same path
again in my life.
and i thank you becos if my mum n i didnt become that hostile,
we wouldnt have become THAT close now.
im glad i learnt early. i had been happy,
but my sadness is forever greater and more real than any happiness.
i am grateful everything is over.
please let me go.

to all those who ever left a foot print in my life,
u are remembered, and may blessings go to all the pple i treasure.
u peeps and my family are my greatest assets in this life.
heart.

to lead a happy life at {12:56 AM}
________________ . . . . _______________

Crestfallen

*elaine
*e.MouSe
*26.jan.85
*emouse26@yahoo.com
*elaine_cheng26@hotmail.com
*uol year 3 student
*loves garfield
*loves fann wong
*loves pampering myself
*cherish people who heart me
*adores all pretty babes on earth

Yearning for

♥a peaceful life♥

now: yearning for a happy life and excellent results.

♥My Wish List♥

♥nice laptop pouch
♥good earphones
♥white tote
♥gold gucci tote
♥guess perfume
♥burberry weekend
♥trip to hongkong
♥trip to taiwan
♥trip to australia
♥trip to japan
♥lotsa money to buy things for myself & everybody i love

♥Dearies♥