to lead a free and happy life, with all the right people!♥♥♥

Thursday, July 06, 2006

it's a new start, a new life. juz started my first lesson in sim last nite, after 3 yrs of non-sch-only-work life. felt pretty excited bout starting sch, n i'm determined to get a gd degree, after all so much money will be spent on dis. initially, it's not like im interested in studying or wad, but after working i realized u JUZ had to get a degree to land urself in the position in e first place. efforts n work performance comes AFTER u get the job. i dun wan to be getting $1k pay all my life from now. it sux, big time.

anyway, after yest's lecture i realize i've made e correct choice by choosing to study banking n finance. not only because im oredi in banking line, but mainly becoz i wanna pursue a career in dis field AND it's beneficial for one's own good to understand more about finance planning.

but talking about $, i wonder how a saver like me (i've nv ever drained my salary in the same mth since i worked few yrs back)- could end up spending ALL my salary in half a month's time! reads= in HALF a mth. n dat's over a thousand bucks! gosh it's so NOT me. when i updated my a/c n totalled up my expenditure, i got a shock, n for the first time i dumped my atm n debit card in the office. haaz and i still owe mum her allowance. god

july, so many birthdays. july, my sch starts. july, my life is changed. july, i cried again like how i did previously. my cd player is holding jacky cheung's black n white cd once again. the last time it did, i was crying every nite listening to those songs, tinking of our memories. how we worked together. loved each other. laughed n joked together. went out together. had happy meals together. den worried together. being separated from each other. how he comforted me whenever i cried so hard becoz of the sharp pain in my heart. all these, i know i have to let go. i know i muz look forward to a brand new start. a whole new life alone, alone, alone. i know i have to give him up, have to let go of dis. though my heart is already dead, from all the pain and e tears. he stood by me when dat shocking incident happened to me. he gave me support, comfort n courage. now, i am standing alone. i am strong, have always been, and i know i will survive through. i have a goal now, i am pursuing my 3 yr degree. i am going to have a gd life with my parents ever after. but i dunno y are my tears flowing so uncontrollably now. why is my heart so painful. why cant i stop the tears. the pain. i feel like tearing myself apart. god, buddha, heaven, stars, moon, anything, please stop e pain in my heart. i dun wan to shatter. i wanna come out in one piece, n see the sun again. will i ever feel warmth in my heart again?

wo ai ni, sui ran wo yi jing fang qi.

to lead a happy life at {8:35 PM}
________________ . . . . _______________

Crestfallen

*elaine
*e.MouSe
*26.jan.85
*emouse26@yahoo.com
*elaine_cheng26@hotmail.com
*uol year 3 student
*loves garfield
*loves fann wong
*loves pampering myself
*cherish people who heart me
*adores all pretty babes on earth

Yearning for

♥a peaceful life♥

now: yearning for a happy life and excellent results.

♥My Wish List♥

♥nice laptop pouch
♥good earphones
♥white tote
♥gold gucci tote
♥guess perfume
♥burberry weekend
♥trip to hongkong
♥trip to taiwan
♥trip to australia
♥trip to japan
♥lotsa money to buy things for myself & everybody i love

♥Dearies♥